you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Everclear isn't food dammit
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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