In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
