do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
