And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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