why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
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We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
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I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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