Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He felt like a one man threesome
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
