My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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