we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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