hotel room ftw
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
