And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
