I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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