its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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