Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I believe in your delicious
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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