I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize