i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize