just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize