i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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