you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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