i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
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Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
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Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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