dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
