So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
