I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
