She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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