Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
