I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Drunk is not a location!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
