We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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