She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
