Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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