Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
