Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
