I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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