yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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