doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
