I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
