Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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