She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
