can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
