With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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