omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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