so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize