scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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