but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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