Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
