My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
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i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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