please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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