I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
