was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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