well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
