You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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