a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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