Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
