Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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