so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
