we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
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alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
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I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
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