my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize