with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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