you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
